Saturday, October 17, 2009

Reverse Psychology / Divine Inspiration

*Photo* Top Row, Left to Right: my grandfather Antonio, my uncle Father Claude, my grandmother Palmira. Bottom Row: Aunt Connie

Ma and I are down to one semi-peaceful morning of getting her out of bed during the week. The other four, anything goes; lying, pleading, pulling off sheets, tugging on legs, threats in two different languages.

Yesterday, I had one nerve left and my mother danced all over it. I went from zero to sixty by the time I said good morning and she grunted. My voice rose to an unpleasant pitch and my mother’s came chasing right after it.

I tell you I don’t know what put the thought in my mind. Perhaps God glanced my way, looked long enough to see I had very little left by way of sanity, took pity on me and threw me the inspiration.

“Ma, this is all your fault you know.” I said calmly.

The one eye I could see from under the covers popped open and narrowed.

“What’s my fault?”

“The way I am. What I’m doing right now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You took care of Grandpa when he was sick. You and Aunt Syl cared for him at home, giving him the best you both had, making sure he was as healthy as he could be.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And Aunt Connie did the same for Grandma.”

Her bald head popped out from under the covers, and she stared at me trying to find the angle, but she couldn’t argue with the facts as I presented them.

Keep going…I thought…don’t lose momentum.

“Well, I grew up seeing that. And now I am the way I am because of it. Because of YOU.”

Oh beautiful. More...

“Let’s say you knew Grandpa's health would decline faster by NOT getting him out of bed. Would you leave him there?”


“Then what do you expect me to do?”

I waited a beat for dramatic affect and added a dash of self-pity to my timbre. “It’s like I have no choice.”

She emerged from the covers, exposing her zebra nightgown and those gorgeous legs.

“Yeah, yeah, alright. I get it,” she said, traces of false anger in her voice. “Help me out of this bed will you please?”

As we walked to the bathroom I thought, Can I squeeze a shower out of this? Or would that be pressing my luck?

I decided to not even try it. But I sure would use this tact again, happily and shamelessly.

Keep them coming God!


  1. Beautiful! Nice to have God on your side, huh? You know I've recently decided to invite the Big Guy upstairs back in, and He seems to have a better handle on things than I do! Good thing! I love your writing, and you sound like a lovely daughter.

  2. Leslie I read in your post today that you were opening the doors again. It made me stop and think...I need Him again too. So he'll hear my voice right along yours these days :-)

  3. Lisa, I laughed out loud at this marvelous sentence! And oh how I could identify with it.

    "Yesterday, I had one nerve left and my mother danced all over it."

    You summed up a feeling we've all had at one time or another--and said it so beautiful! Thanks for keeping your sense of humor.

  4. What a flash of brilliance you had. You have a history with your mother that no one else has or could ever have.

    Straight From Hel

  5. I really believe God downloaded my book to me. Even though its a secular book, I never use his name in vain, drop F-bombs, or exploit children. Its actually a trilogy and the overall theme is more than good triumphing over evil. God will ultimatelt get the glory. Thanks for stopping by my blog and saying hi.

    Stephen Tremp

  6. "The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you." (unknown author)

    And you know me - easier to say to others than to apply to myself but still needs to be said. Perhaps it will sneak itself into the forefront of your thoughts during those last nerve moments.


  7. Fred, I thought today as i was walking Bub, "God wouldn't allow me to feel this if I couldn't handle it." We were thinking the same thing at the same time.

  8. Lisa, that was wonderful. Perhaps the only way to get your mom to help you do what had to be done. And use it again, and again - who knows, maybe that is the secret weapon?
    And I loved the line - I had only one nerve left and my mother danced all over it - perfect description of desperation! Don't mind if I steal it, because I know I will.