I’ve burned up the Alzheimer’s Association’s telephone lines again. What an amazing resource. We discussed the upcoming visits with my family, the wedding, and taking mom back home. Ma will absolutely come to my house for a visit with her family this Sunday. Her brother, sister, dearest friend and niece will be visiting for a traditional Italian dinner (with a little vegan twist thrown in for good measure). I’ll have Ma arrive early to get acclimated to the house again (it’s been almost three weeks…disgraceful) before she is inundated with a lively bunch of loving family.
As for the wedding, I looked at it more closely, away from the initial knee-jerk anger and frustration. The wedding is over an hour away and right when Ma tends to sundown. The main activity will be close to her bedtime. It will be dark with loud music and lots of energetic people. OK, even I agree (now) that would be a recipe for disaster. I took mom to the bridal shower a month ago and that was less stimulating. At least she got to participate in some of the celebratory activities.
Mom coming home was an interesting discussion. There was hesitancy in the representative’s voice at first, but we attacked the issues from every angle. Will I be able to get the resources Mom had before (funded daycare, an aid to help in the house, etc.)? How about a visiting nurse to keep an eye on her legs and her now very swollen elbow? What about respite for me and Dan? How will we wander-proof the house?
Good news is I am on the right track with researching all of these and I will not have her come home until I have things as much in order as I can. I owe that to both of us.
So, I’m feeling scared but a bit more empowered. I’m sure those two very conflicting feelings will living side by side within me for a long time.
As for Ma, we are getting closer. Hang in there Gilda-Bear!
All you can do is do your best. I had to remind myself of that all the time. Sometimes we have to give in because its all we can do. Sometimes we have to do what we dont want to do. Glad you sought out resources so you could come to a educated and informed decision.
ReplyDeleteThe topsy turvy life of a caregiver. Many considerations to weigh. COntinue to reach out for information.
ReplyDeleteDoes mother remain in the hospital?
Be Brave. Stay Strong.
Bob Page
Lisa, while I was away on vacation, I was thinking about you, and wondering if you had come along any further in your very difficult decision about whether to bring your mother home to live with you. My heart went out to you as I read about your dilemma about the wedding, because I understand how much you wanted her to attend. I think you're doing an admirable job, under very difficult conditions, of balancing your gut instincts with the advice you are receiving. Best wishes and good luck on your future decisions - I'll be watching and reading.
ReplyDeleteOn my page I have some AD links that might help you. If you havent already seen them
ReplyDeleteLisa,
ReplyDeleteI have been gone to Asia for three weeks and was wondering about you. Have you gotten any closer on your decision to take Mom home.
I also have a question for you or any of your followers. My dad is still aware of where he is and will not move to even an assisted living, how did you accomplish this. My Mom cannot do this anymore, but he will not go willing and no one will take him against his will. We are so confused. Any suggestions.