Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Karma - Car Crashes - Coincidence?

On Sunday and Monday of this past Memorial Day weekend, I did not see my mother. On both days, I got into car accidents. Coincidence? I think not...not for this Italian Catholic.

I am a pet sitter by trade, and Memorial Day weekend is traditionally a very busy one. I was left little room to see my mother. Though I had intended to have her visit for a short period of time, or at the very least run in to say hello, the days wore on and the opportunities dimmed. Add in the car crashes and, well…

She was never far from my mind. In fact, she filled it to brimming. I had that all consuming feeling that I was doing something terribly wrong. I called the rest home multiple times to check in, and though I was assured she was well, I wasn’t convinced.

Crash #1 totaled my car on Sunday. The back wheel axle snapped in two and further damage was done to the underside. It appears the value of the car doesn’t touch the cost of the repair. Bye bye Honda Element!

Accident #2 happened on Monday. With the Element gone, I had to use my husband’s truck. (What a trusting fellow!) We call the truck the big behemoth. Redundant I know. I misjudged the space between a parked car and a pole and didn’t realize the whole right side of his nearly perfect truck was rubbing lovingly against the cement supporting beam. It is only when I alighted, congratulating myself on a great job fitting into such a space, that I realized the damage I had caused; his silver truck was a sunshine orange yellow all along the right side and dented in like the curve of a hungry man’s stomach.

Two accidents in two days for someone who has an excellent driving record. How can I believe it was anything but Karma?


  1. Although I believe in karma, you shouldn't feel that way! You are one of the most caring people I know. I'm just glad you're okay!

  2. I totally believe in Destiny, but I choose to interpret your accidents differently. Maybe you were meant to be involved in a much worse accident, and it passed of with only the Honda getting totalled and the truck being dented.

    It really has nothing to do with you not seeing your mother- karma doesn't work that way.

  3. If you believe the two accidents were karma, then what do you believe they were telling you? It's all in the interpretation, I think. I can see this meaning different things, but how your interpret it is most important.

    Straight From Hel

  4. Oh Lisa, what a disaster of a week-end you had. Hope you and Dan can laugh over it as time goes by. And karma? Nah, just coincidence. Then again, they say nothing is coincidence, it's God speaking to you. So maybe these accidents, where no one got hurt, kept you from something worse. And look at what else is happening--you get a new car!

  5. Thanks everyone for your comments. You are all so supportive and I appreciate that! I'm not sure what the incidences were telling me...I need to think on that. I was probably sending that anxious energy out there and therefore drew negative energy toward me. Mom here today. She is watching "Who's The Boss." :-)

  6. At least your okay and that's what's important. Sorry to hear of your vehicles though. Now go have lunch with your mother.

    Stephen Tremp

  7. I don't think it is Karma, your mind wasn't there, as you were worry and thinking if your mom was doing well. So when we are distracted accidents happen.
    Maybe it is a sign for you take it easy, that your mom is ok and that you need to allow yourself some time off. Just a thought...

    take care. loveNlight

  8. Hey just stumbled on your blog and wanted to say sorry about the accidents :(. Also, I really have a lot of respect for you for being honest and sharing your experiences with your mom.

  9. Karma? Probably not. Bad luck combined with the distraction of having too much on your mind is my bet. I agree with the other posts - time to escape as best you can. Hang in there tough mama.

  10. Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear this! I'm hoping you're ok.

    As for the karma, I'm not so sure I believe in that. You do the best you can on a regular basis. Your mother, and everyone else in your life, knows that too.

  11. I am sorry for the wrecks but you are ok that is all that matters. You can go spend the day with mom and make it up to her in your brand new car.

  12. Tory, thank you for visiting my blog! I will hop on over to yours and check it out!

    Karen, We were thinking of getting a mini-Cooper until we saw the backseat. No way my mother is getting in that thing!

    Julie, Thanks for the kind words. I just need my head and heart to accept them! I am working on it...

    Tessa!! I am so excited you stopped over! Yeahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

    Priya, thank you for stopping by as well...and thank you for your kind words. I do my best most days but its those when I fall short that my mind starts to seep into guilt! Working on it...

  13. I'm so sorry to read about your accidents, but it's true that what matters is that you are okay! I'm glad your mother was there with you when you wrote this post, relaxing and just being with you. What a wonderful bond you share with her.

  14. I am very familiar with guilt associated with not visiting my mom in the nursing home - and your track record FAR exceeds mine when it comes to visiting. I'm in the camp that thinks your divided attention, and being very busy with your job, may have caused you some difficulty - and it is very hard to remedy that. Glad to hear there were no injuries. And as for the truck, I have done the exact same thing, only I scraped against another car! Wishing you a more peaceful weekend this time...

  15. Lisa, I just happened to come across your blog today. It’s wonderful! At first I read the current post and the others from 2010, and then I just had to go back to the beginning and read the posts from 2009 as well.

    Your blog touches my heart because there are several similarities between your family and mine. First of all, I’m the daughter of a parent with Alzheimer’s too, although in my case it was my father, so I absolutely identify with the title of your blog. Secondly, my name, like your mother’s, is Gilda, although I pronounce mine with a hard G, like the 40s movie with Rita Hayworth. And like you, I too am writing a blog about Alzheimer’s ( ). On the other hand, the biggest difference between us is that your mother is still with you, thank God, but my father passed away on New Year’s Day, 2010.

    Many of the themes you write about are very reminiscent of our Alzheimer journey as well – the fear of bathing, the worry that Alzheimer’s may be hereditary, and the conflicting feelings when lying to a parent. As for interactions in your Italian family, my family is Jewish, and our two cultures have a lot of the same issues!

    I laughed out loud about “The Case of the Flying Trousers” – I can just see (but thankfully not smell) the entire episode! Alzheimer’s is such a sad disease, but you have to admit that it’s sometimes funny too. (If you’re interested in a funny story about my dad, read the article from May 2010 entitled “Feeding Sam – He sure loved that soup!”)

    And I certainly understood your situation when you made the decision to move your mother to the rest home. When people asked me “how could I do that to my father?”, I answered, “I didn’t do it TO him; I did it FOR him.”

    Please keep writing – I will look forward to your upcoming posts. I especially love the way you write dialogue – it rings so true!

    Gilda Spitz, Thornhill Ontario

  16. Gilda, thank you so much for your post. I am having a particularly difficult evening, feeling very alone with the disease. I am trying to write about it now but am finding that difficult as well. I am just consumed with sadness. Knowing you understand is a blessing. And you have the cultural aspect too which is HUGE. I will read your blog right now. Thank you so much for stopping by and I hope you continue to do so...I am going to need the help! xo

    Momsbrain - Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Guilt is going to send me to my grave. I am convinced. I thought I had mastered it, but we just passed a particularly rough week so its lurking again, around every corner and curtain. Ugh.