I haven’t wanted to write because of the sadness. There is a certain amount of guilt in posting all of this negative stuff. So I’ve refrained in hopes that there would be good news to post. There hasn’t been.
Mom, due to her advancing symptoms, had to move out of the rest home and into a nursing home where she could receive more intensive care. There IS good news in that we were able to get mom into the home of our choice, the Jewish Healthcare Center in Worcester. Odd selection for an old Italian Catholic :-). But truly, they are amazing caregivers and I know she is in the best of hands. A huge blessing.
Today is New Year’s Eve and my heart is so heavy. I feel tremendously heartbroken for mom and yes, for me. Because we live far from my brother, her sisters and nieces, our days are spent together, just the two of us, and it is getting very lonely. Does she feel the loneliness too? My husband and others think not since she is surrounded by people who dote on her…the staff is wonderful. But is she missing her family as well? There are no signs of this that I can see, yet the thought of it keeps me up at night sometimes.
We’ve considered moving multiple times and have even gone so far as to look at properties closer to family. But now especially, with her in excellent care, a move seems less likely.
Dan has been the perfect third wheel. He goes to see Mom whenever I can’t and gives me a break at least once a week. He’ll often join me on the weekends for a visit and bring us supper so we can all eat together on Wednesday nights. What a blessing he is!
So, I guess there are positives to post, and with the New Year I am going to try my best to focus on those. I definitely need a perspective change or else I am going to continue a slide downhill.